nostalgia...

it's very logical that dwelling on the past is pointless. what's done is done and the real important thing is to learn from whatever has happened and try to apply it to your future. but sometimes it's hard to be logical.

i've spent the better part of today doing two things: cleaning the house and thinking of the past. reliving memories and wishing that some things that were, STILL were. i started looking at old pictures, reading old things and wishing i could go back and change events or things i said or did. what a drag!

sometimes i feel like my mouth is controlled by someone who isn't me. i hear myself say things that i don't really believe or want to say, and it can be hard to take that shit back, especially when you're in shock for a few moments after the words have been uttered...

i want a better, happier and more fulfilling life, who doesn't? if i can find a way to keep my mouth in check, i just might get it.