i don't think about blogging on a regular basis. in fact, if i hadn't accidentally clicked the link for someone ELSE'S blog, i wouldn't have ended up here today. the first thing that jumped out at me was the date of my last entry...over a year ago. REALLY?! the fact that yet another year has passed and not much has changed is a really depressing thought.
for a few months at the beginning of this year, i really thought things were turning around. for a while i was truly HAPPY. and then it all went away. the happiness was fleeting and the REASON for it was all lies.
do people get their ya-yas from telling people things they want to hear? making up lies to get what they want? making people feel things for them by creating a false persona or unreal set of expectations and future life plans?
then something else happens...you get over these lies and pain...accept it as a learning experience and truly move on. but what happens when someone you know (friend, acquaintance) is now being sucked in to the same bullshit that you just got over? it's not like you can exactly be the voice of reason, because now you're the "jealous ex" and your word means nothing. so instead of being able to prevent someone else from going through what you did, you have to sit idly by and hope you can just help pick up the pieces. the funny thing? the person BEFORE me went through the same thing. wished she could help me see what was going to happen, hoping that "this time" would be different.
games....or life?
