so it's another tuesday at the airport. 6 reservations all day and not much else to do except for a large stack of paperwork that is currently staring at me. i only seem to be able to get through about 5 minutes of "real" work at a time because i haven't been sleeping too well lately.
it seems like something is going on with my sleeping pattern and i just can't seem to fix it. i have no issues falling asleep, but staying asleep seems impossible. i'll be okay for about 2-3 hours, then i wake up. no sounds, no light...even no dogs. fall back asleep, wake up 1/2 hour later. then again in 2 more. it's so strange, i used to be able to sleep through just about anything. not now and it's completely affecting my ability to function. took a "sleep aid" last night (some OTC generic thing) and woke up 4x anyway. gonna try one more night of no pills, with earplugs and a sleep mask. hope it works.
i'm so ready to get out of dubuque and go somewhere. for a weekend, for a week, for a month...forever....? i miss being able to non-rev so much. going to toronto for the day didn't really get much accomplished, but i miss even having the option. there are so many places i want to see for the first time and so many places i'd like to see again. being independently wealthy would help. now taking applications for a sugar daddy....
despite the time that's passed some things are still very present. it's like that really vivid memory which you KNOW was so many years ago but seems like it was just yesterday. every day i'm reminded of things that made me really happy (for the first time in a long time) but now they're gone. i don't think there's anything i can do to get that feeling back. all i can try and do is recreate it. but it's killing me in the meantime. that may seem like a lot of nonsense, but it all makes sense to me.
working a lot of hours. not making a lot of money. yearning to go SOMEWHERE. missing people who aren't here. it can only get better, right?
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