so my mom sent me this funny email yesterday. one of those forwards with some stuff you read while scrolling down the page, then you finally come to a picture which goes along with the stuff you've been reading. the "story" or theme was things to be thankful for. when you get to the picture it was this old couple, naked, standing on a beach. the email said to be thankful the picture was taken from behind and not from the front.
while funny, it really started to make me think and then panic just a little bit. i thought first "that'll be me someday, old saggy butt..." and then it dawned on me that because of my abhorrence of marriage, i would be the saggy butt standing all alone. that made me kind of scared, not because i'm afraid to be alone, but wondering who the hell was going to be physical with "saggy butt" lady?!
i'm a fan of being intimate with someone, i'm sure most people are. but i sort of felt like i would be better off if i had someone who was, well, obligated to have sex with me when i'm old and saggy-like. does that make me really fucked up?! i started to rethink my priorities and decided that maybe "married" life wasn't such a bad gig afterall. now, considering i am single and don't have a semblance of a social life, the next order of panic was "how the hell will i ever meet someone to 'couple' with?" this is where i sit now, trying to figure out how to meet someone i can stand, get along with (and fight with!) who is as willing as i am to work on a relationship and not bail when the going gets tough.
problem 1: i have become SO cynical and bitter from years of bad....everything. the last relationship i had was plagued by my bad attitude. don't get me wrong, it wasn't the ONLY issue, but it certainly played a role.
problem 2: i have poor judgement when it comes to dating. it seems i always have feelings for the wrong person or no feelings for the right one. or maybe my standards are too high?
things to ponder for sure...
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